Cold Omens

Second day of Hell Week...my gestational milestone where we lost Carpenter.  

This one slapped me across the face.

About 5:30 this evening, I drove over to my church with my mom, sister-in-law and niece.  We unloaded carloads of food for a celebration.  I parked right outside the door at first, making our trips in shorter, and then decided to move out of the way.  We're Southern, so I asked my little niece if she'd like to drive my car to a parking space.  (Everyone learns to drive as a kid here.)  No one else was there...nothing to hit.  She sat on my lap and did a fine job of guiding the car and paying attention to her mirrors.

We parked and started to head back into the church fellowship hall.  With the snow yesterday, I yelled at my niece to stop running.  "You don't want to slip and fall!"  

And then it hit me.

Last year...last pregnancy...at 23 weeks.  I had spent the evening setting up the church fellowship hall for a celebration.  I rushed to get everything loaded into the car so I could go home to Mike.  On my way in from the parking lot, I slipped.  I stutter-stepped a few yards.  I fell flat on my stomach.  I rushed to the hospital, and saw a still baby.

Too many times this week I've said, "This is exactly what I was doing last year."  

I'm scared.