Saturday, May 5, 2012

Advice From Modern Family, Original posting on March 7, 2012

Every morning I attempt to catch up on my overflowing DVR list while eating breakfast and watching Olivia eat her toys while standing, sitting and then crawling.  My cup runneth over with excitement, as you see.  (And don't pretend that you're all fulfilled with staying at home.  TV enters the equation and you know it.  Or you're a robot and we can't be friends.)  Anyway, today I was watching Modern Family from last week and fell over myself to text my husband when Cam yelled at Mitchell, "Could you just witness my pain instead of criticizing it?"

I don't know why guys and girls are wired so differently.  It seems as if we get together under astronomical odds, and homosexuals were actually following the Darwinian path of least resistance, insofar as relationship harmony goes.  (One day it will be equally difficult to be yourself and start up a relationship for all.  I believe that wholeheartedly.)  When I have a bad day, I turn to my husband, which at this point should tell me that Rafiki would still be hitting me upside the head with his stupid walking stick.  How have I not learned to duck?

For the record, when I call my husband and say, "This has been the worst day ever," and then I burst into tears, I have a specific response in my mind.  He should say, "Honey, you poor thing.  Why don't I come home right now and I'll take care of Liv while you tell me all about it?"  What I get is, "Yeah, well, why don't we just seal the ashes container we've already got, blah, blah (sounds of typing in background)."  While he means well (and my imagined response is anything but fair), I just wish guys understood that any attempt to fix the problem is not only useless but infuriating.

Often times women have decided their course of action before even turning to you for emotional support.  We may have just fought for hours to get something done and just be so close (yet so far) that we need you to listen to our anger so we can get past it.  If you tell me how you would do it, it's as if you're saying that I am incapable of doing it right without your help.  If I wanted you to tell me how to do it, I would be very specific.  I would not call crying.  I would not go on and on about how hard it has been up to now.  I would say something like, "Honey, do you know where I can buy an urn for the baby?"  That's it.

Until I say that sentence, please assume I just want a listening ear.  There are days where all I do is play with Liv, run errands and wait until the clock hits 5:30 (and please be home on time because I do watch the clock for the last hour).  But there are days where I am completely destroyed by this loss and the best I can do is choke back the tears so I don't upset Liv.   Thanks for listening.

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