Carpenter was born around 7pm. I had been awake for about 36 hours, unable to sleep for crying. After he was born, the nurse let us hold him for a while until it looked like I couldn't keep my eyes open any more. Knowing now Mike could take care of him for me, I accepted my exhaustion. I laid back to rest as the nurse and Mike were prepping Carpenter for a few photos. Right before I fell asleep, I begged Mike to get a picture of his little feet, in a heart shape. Luckily, he did...and I love this picture. I guess it's because so many living babies have this photo. It's so normal. And my sweet boy was totally normal--just gone too soon. He is my son no less than Liv is my daughter, and deserves a few sweet shots like this around my house. I love this memory...
Finding normalcy amidst the fog...this is my grief.
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